Protect Me From What I Want (2009)

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Protect Me From What I Want is a poignant and emotionally charged short film directed by Dominic Leclerc. Set in Newcastle, the film tells the story of two young men, Daz and Saleem, who come from vastly different backgrounds but are drawn together by a shared sense of isolation and inner conflict. The title, taken from artist Jenny Holzer's famous text work, reflects the film's central theme: the struggle between desire and denial, especially when that desire challenges cultural norms or personal fears.

Daz is a street-smart, working-class teenager who gets by through hustling and petty theft. He's outwardly confident, perhaps even defiant, but beneath his tough exterior is a young man hardened by the need to survive. On the other hand, Saleem is a closeted gay Muslim boy from a more sheltered, middle-class background. He is deeply conflicted—torn between his religious upbringing, family expectations, and his growing desire to explore a part of himself he has always had to suppress. When Daz and Saleem meet, their connection is both electric and tentative, marked by curiosity, tension, and the unspoken recognition of something missing in both of their lives.

The film explores the complex dynamics between the two as their relationship develops. Daz pushes Saleem toward a greater awareness of his own identity, often in provocative or challenging ways. At the same time, Saleem, through his vulnerability and quiet intensity, offers Daz a rare moment of emotional intimacy. Their encounters are marked by risk—not just the physical risks of navigating public spaces as gay or questioning individuals, but the emotional risks of opening up to someone when trust has always been dangerous. Through these interactions, the film critiques rigid masculinity and the social structures that force people to hide who they are.

As their connection deepens, the psychological and emotional barriers they both carry begin to surface. Saleem struggles with shame and fear, feeling the crushing weight of his family's expectations and the consequences of living a double life. Daz, meanwhile, is forced to confront his own emotional defenses. His brashness hides a fear of being truly seen or cared for, and Saleem’s cautious affection forces him to reckon with that vulnerability. The tension between them ultimately reveals the fragility of relationships built in secrecy, and the immense cost of denying one's truth in the face of societal rejection.

In the end, Protect Me From What I Want is not just a story about sexuality, but a meditation on identity, connection, and the emotional complexity of desire. It portrays the pain and beauty of finding intimacy in a world that doesn't offer safe spaces for it. The film leaves a lingering sense of melancholy, but also a sense of quiet courage—acknowledging that even fleeting moments of honesty can have a profound impact on how we understand ourselves and others. Through its subtle performances and intimate storytelling, the film invites viewers to reflect on the ways we protect ourselves from what we truly want—and what it costs us to do so.